i had a bad dream last night.
i dreamt i lost you.


today i was super tired.
i feel like giving up 3 hum.
giving up school.
giving up on life.
i would have long jumped into the sea if not for my wonderful friends that make life worthwhile.
i dont think i was born to go through torment and stress and suffering.
what for?
so that i will have a bright future ahead?
earn lots of money and die happy?
if i could choose, i'd rather be poor and happy then rich and unhappy.
riches are just material stuff.
i cant bring them with me when i die.
why must i make my life so stressful and tiring?
correction: why must MY MOTHER make my life so stressful and tiring?
she forced me to go tuition, to go triple science and to join st john.
when my tuition teacher asked me why i choose st john, i said its because of my mother.
then
it dawned on me.
i'm just a robot.
my mother is the remote that controls me.
every major decision in my life would be in her control.
why cant i have what i want?